Thank you, Jesus.4/12/2009
3/01/2009
Heaven meets Earth like a sloppy wet kiss
Tonight at youth we had a baptisimal service. There were three students who had planned to be baptized. We all cheered loudly as they came back out of the water, soaked and grinning victoriously. After it was all over, PM turned to face the crowd and asked, "Does anybody else want to be baptized tonight?"
Silence.
Pause.
Then a single hand rose from out of the crowd. "You!" PM said grinning and pointing at the girl. She excitedly ran onto the stage and into the water and was baptized. After he got out of the water, he turned to us yet again. "Anyone else?" he challenged.
At the beginning of the night, we had planned to baptize three students.
We baptized seven.
Can I get an Amen to that?
Silence.
Pause.
Then a single hand rose from out of the crowd. "You!" PM said grinning and pointing at the girl. She excitedly ran onto the stage and into the water and was baptized. After he got out of the water, he turned to us yet again. "Anyone else?" he challenged.
At the beginning of the night, we had planned to baptize three students.
We baptized seven.
Can I get an Amen to that?
1/04/2009
Running Home
So it's been about six months since I last blogged. You probably thought I died. Believe it or not, I'm still alive. A lot has happened over this period of time. Life threw itself at me these past six months. I am ashamed to admit what I am about to say, but I know that I need to. Because I have to admit it to myself. These past six months my walk with Jesus hasn't been so great. I started to slip away. Not on purpose. I'm not even sure how it happened. But it did. Through different circumstances, I guess. Something really ugly was thrown at me during these past six months. And while the details of what happened aren't something important to this story, much less to be shared, the aftermath of what happened plays a role in where I'm going with this.
This summer, the world that I knew was rocked and turned upside down into something I didn't recognize. My trust and self confidence were completely rattled and shaken up. I didn't know who to believe, or if I could ever believe anyone again. And I felt so small. I felt so insignificant and unimportant. I felt as though I was of no value or consequence to anyone. Because of this, and my deep trust issues, I started to fall away from everything. I distanced myself from my friends. I was so terrified of trusting anyone. The idea made me so paranoid. So much so that eventually I distanced myself from God. I didn't mean to do these things. They just sort of happened.
Months passed, and I watched myself become who I know I'm not. I became extremely numb and apathetic. I watched myself constantly do stupid things, just because I knew they were bad for me. I'm not proud of it. I just did things in hopes that I might feel something, because it was better than feeling nothing. Eventually my friendships were repaired, but my walk with Jesus was still suffering. And I knew it was because I wasn't making an effort. I didn't want to face the fact that I had let it become that way.
Tonight I went to youth group. We opened like always, with the telling of jokes and fart stories. Everyone was loud and laughing. Then we settled in and started worship. The band played a few songs and everyone was singing along. They closed the set with How He Loves. As we sang, I was beginning to feel my heart break. But not in a bad way. I could feel it breaking down defenses, letting down walls, mending scars. The band went silent, and all of us sang out
He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how he loves...
But it wasn't just singing. We were doing more than singing. Singing is polite. Singing is nice to listen to. We were belting. We were shouting. We were begging. We were calling out. We were being real. And for the first time in months, I felt myself be real too. I felt the real me coming back to life. I felt Jesus reaching out His hands to me. All I could do was throw up my hands and reach back. I sang the words loud, but not pretty. But that's how it's supposed to be.
Now I am running.
I am running Home.
I am running Home and I'm not looking back.
I'm breaking free. And I am running.
This summer, the world that I knew was rocked and turned upside down into something I didn't recognize. My trust and self confidence were completely rattled and shaken up. I didn't know who to believe, or if I could ever believe anyone again. And I felt so small. I felt so insignificant and unimportant. I felt as though I was of no value or consequence to anyone. Because of this, and my deep trust issues, I started to fall away from everything. I distanced myself from my friends. I was so terrified of trusting anyone. The idea made me so paranoid. So much so that eventually I distanced myself from God. I didn't mean to do these things. They just sort of happened.
Months passed, and I watched myself become who I know I'm not. I became extremely numb and apathetic. I watched myself constantly do stupid things, just because I knew they were bad for me. I'm not proud of it. I just did things in hopes that I might feel something, because it was better than feeling nothing. Eventually my friendships were repaired, but my walk with Jesus was still suffering. And I knew it was because I wasn't making an effort. I didn't want to face the fact that I had let it become that way.
Tonight I went to youth group. We opened like always, with the telling of jokes and fart stories. Everyone was loud and laughing. Then we settled in and started worship. The band played a few songs and everyone was singing along. They closed the set with How He Loves. As we sang, I was beginning to feel my heart break. But not in a bad way. I could feel it breaking down defenses, letting down walls, mending scars. The band went silent, and all of us sang out
He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how he loves...
But it wasn't just singing. We were doing more than singing. Singing is polite. Singing is nice to listen to. We were belting. We were shouting. We were begging. We were calling out. We were being real. And for the first time in months, I felt myself be real too. I felt the real me coming back to life. I felt Jesus reaching out His hands to me. All I could do was throw up my hands and reach back. I sang the words loud, but not pretty. But that's how it's supposed to be.
Now I am running.
I am running Home.
I am running Home and I'm not looking back.
I'm breaking free. And I am running.
7/29/2008
Not finished yet..
John 20:7 tells us that when Jesus rose again, the cloth that was placed over his face was not just thrown aside like the rest of the grave clothes. It was neatly folded and placed separately from everything else.
Is this important? Absolutely!
Is this significant? Absolutely!
To understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that time. After a servant had set the table for his master, he would wait just out of sight until the master had finished eating. When the master was finished eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his hands on his napkin, and leave it on the table, wadded up. The servant then knew that it was the proper time to clear the table. However, if the master rose from the table, folded his napkin, and laid it next to his plate, the servant knew not to go to the table because this meant "I'm not done yet. I'm coming back."
So, when Jesus rose from the grave, he folded the cloth and placed it neatly in the tomb.
Jesus wasn't finished yet.
He's still not finished.
He's coming back.
Is this important? Absolutely!
Is this significant? Absolutely!
To understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that time. After a servant had set the table for his master, he would wait just out of sight until the master had finished eating. When the master was finished eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his hands on his napkin, and leave it on the table, wadded up. The servant then knew that it was the proper time to clear the table. However, if the master rose from the table, folded his napkin, and laid it next to his plate, the servant knew not to go to the table because this meant "I'm not done yet. I'm coming back."
So, when Jesus rose from the grave, he folded the cloth and placed it neatly in the tomb.
Jesus wasn't finished yet.
He's still not finished.
He's coming back.
7/14/2008
I'm still alive
I know I disappeared for a long time. Like, three months. But I'm back now.
This past week I went with my youth group to Virginia for King's Fest. It's this festival at King's Dominion where you ride roller coasters all day long, and then at night, you go to concerts.
It was amazing.
Casting Crowns, Hawk Nelson, David Crowder, TobyMac, Family Force Five, Kutless, Newsboys.
We grabbed each others hands and ran, as fast as we could. We ran as though we stole something. We ran with all our veins electrified. We snaked in and out of the aisles, people in the audience cheering us on. More and more people joined onto our chain cleverly weaving through the crowd. At least a hundred strangers- a hundred family members- joined in, running with us. She lead the chain with one hand waving free. The flashing neon lights were blurred, and the sound of the bass was making the earth shake. My breath was heavy and short, burning in my chest, but it seemed like nothing. I wanted to run forever and live in this moment forever. I am free to run, I am free to dance, I am free to live for You, I am free.
I am free. Unrestrained, unrestricted, unreserved, and unlimited.
I am free
This past week I went with my youth group to Virginia for King's Fest. It's this festival at King's Dominion where you ride roller coasters all day long, and then at night, you go to concerts.
It was amazing.
Casting Crowns, Hawk Nelson, David Crowder, TobyMac, Family Force Five, Kutless, Newsboys.
We grabbed each others hands and ran, as fast as we could. We ran as though we stole something. We ran with all our veins electrified. We snaked in and out of the aisles, people in the audience cheering us on. More and more people joined onto our chain cleverly weaving through the crowd. At least a hundred strangers- a hundred family members- joined in, running with us. She lead the chain with one hand waving free. The flashing neon lights were blurred, and the sound of the bass was making the earth shake. My breath was heavy and short, burning in my chest, but it seemed like nothing. I wanted to run forever and live in this moment forever. I am free to run, I am free to dance, I am free to live for You, I am free.
I am free. Unrestrained, unrestricted, unreserved, and unlimited.
I am free
4/28/2008
Go
"The Lord came to me, saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.'
'Ah, Sovereign Lord,' I said, 'I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.' But the Lord said to me, 'Do not say I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.'"
-Jeremiah 1:4-8
Like Jeremiah, God knew you before you were born. He knew you before you were even an idea. He knew everything about you: your personality, your likes and dislikes, what your favorite color would be, who your friends would be, what your future would hold, and even whether or not you would be a plain or pepperoni kind of person. God knows you inside and out, better than anyone on this planet. Probably better than you even know yourself. And He has known you since the beginning of time.
You were set apart from everyone of this world. You are in the world, not of the world. You have a sovereign purpose. A purpose that exercises supreme, permanent authority.
Take that authority and use it for God. Don't be held down by your weaknesses. Release you inhibitions. Cut through all that ties you down. Don't be afraid. He is with you.
'Ah, Sovereign Lord,' I said, 'I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.' But the Lord said to me, 'Do not say I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.'"
-Jeremiah 1:4-8
Like Jeremiah, God knew you before you were born. He knew you before you were even an idea. He knew everything about you: your personality, your likes and dislikes, what your favorite color would be, who your friends would be, what your future would hold, and even whether or not you would be a plain or pepperoni kind of person. God knows you inside and out, better than anyone on this planet. Probably better than you even know yourself. And He has known you since the beginning of time.
You were set apart from everyone of this world. You are in the world, not of the world. You have a sovereign purpose. A purpose that exercises supreme, permanent authority.
Take that authority and use it for God. Don't be held down by your weaknesses. Release you inhibitions. Cut through all that ties you down. Don't be afraid. He is with you.
4/27/2008
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